"Lessons from a Day Spent with the UCSB Shooter’s Awful Friends" — This makes me ill. Quite literally. But it’s an important read — because, as all these other articles lay out quite clearly, the shooter was not an exception to any rules. There are a lot of men like him; maybe not all men, but it feels, more and more everyday, like almost all.
I am in a hotel in Washington, DC, and my boyfriend is taking a bath, reading. I barge in, demanding to know if all men are terrible, eyes blazing. He tries to calm me down, but I am upset.
I leave the bathroom in a huff.
"Your Princess Is in Another Castle: Misogyny, Entitlement, and Nerds" — a must read about the casual misogyny of nerd culture.
But I have known nerdy male stalkers, and, yes, nerdy male rapists. I’ve known situations where I knew something was going on but didn’t say anything—because I didn’t want to stick my neck out, because some vile part of me thought that this kind of thing was “normal,” because, in other words, I was a coward and I had the privilege of ignoring the problem.
"A Sad Reflection" — another essay on how popular culture shapes misogynistic fantasies, with an emphasis on Hollywood.
Movies may not reflect reality, but they powerfully condition what we desire, expect and feel we deserve from it. The myths that movies have been selling us become even more palpable at a time when spectators become their own auteurs and stars on YouTube, Instagram and Vine. If our cinematic grammar is one of violence, sexual conquest and macho swagger — thanks to male studio executives who green-light projects according to their own pathetic predilections — no one should be surprised when those impulses take luridly literal form in the culture at large.
"Let’s Call the Isla Vista Killings What They Were: Misogynist Extremism" — on putting a name to the acts of terrorism committed by white men.
The ideology behind these attacks - and there is ideology - is simple. Women owe men. Women, as a class, as a sex, owe men sex, love, attention, “adoration”, in Rodger’s words. We owe them respect and obedience, and our refusal to give it to them is to blame for their anger, their violence -stupid sluts get what they deserve. Most of all, there is an overpowering sense of rage and entitlement: the conviction that men have been denied a birthright of easy power.
"Masculinity vs. Misogylinity: What Asian Americans Can Learn from the UCSB Shootings" — a much needed reflection on the racing of gender and sexual ideals, and the sometimes unwitting complicity of Asian American communities with oppressive and deeply misogynistic ideas about manhood.
Within the Asian American community, too, we see this sex-based version of masculinity go unchallenged. Too often, we narrowly (and sometimes uncritically) promote pop culture images of Asian American men in sexual or romantic roles (where the character’s explicit heterosexuality alone defines the character as empowering and masculine). Too often, we revere characters like JT Tran, who sells an Asian American-specific version of pick-up artistry workshops, and David Choe, who hosted a popular Asian American-focused podcast that intended to subvert Asian American emasculation through real or manufactured tales of sexual conquest (where he also allegedly confessed to rape).
But let’s be clear: this sex-based masculinity is not actual masculinity. It is something else: let’s call it “misogylinity.”